The Emptiness Of Who I Am

Am I my ego? 

Am I the voice in my head that criticizes, complains, and judges? The constant narrative? 

There have been many times that I have let that voice run the show and it has misrepresented who I am. Why did I say that? Why did I act like that?

I have had to clean up the pollution from my ego. Actions from the ego always have a result that is counter to harmony and balance. I have seen that pattern happen within me countless times. It is why I now watch the ego like a hawk.

When the ego's gravity is too strong for me to escape, I treat myself as if I am sick. I go quiet and I come to a stop. I wait for the sickness to pass. Eventually it does.

The less energy. I give it, the faster it goes. I don't talk about it, I don't tell everyone about it. I don't make it real. This drives the ego nuts and it will want to be talked about. That is the force behind complaining. Try not complaining internally or externally for a day and you will see what I mean.

Some times the ego's energy flares up like a fever and it is almost unbearable, but I have been through that many times over as well, so I know that it will pass. It is a big bluff. It is the fire that burns itself away. 

All that remains will be silence and truth. 

The emptiness of who I am. 

Then I start from there.