Peace Is My Lighthouse

I have had a long break from work, and in that time I have felt the levels of relaxation grow and deepen. 

As the time draws closer I can feel a part of me beginning to "gear up", preparing for some sort of battle or stressful experience. 

It is all just a state of mind, and I want my relaxation to deepen. I see the wrongness in "gearing up". It's not good for me.

Taichi is about constantly finding relaxation within effort. My life is no different than that. 

I want my relaxation to deepen as I go back to work. As I go through my life. 

I am always looking for relaxation. Always seeking the depths of it.

Peace is my lighthouse.

The Source Of All

It is easy to get lost. There is a sleepiness that sneaks in and before I know it, I am lost.

The good news is that there is always a way back, and it can happen in an instant.

No matter what the circumstance, find the way back to the one who is watching the mental/emotional activity of the mind. 

Anything that is active within the mind is being observed. Find out who is observing. Track back to the root.

That is the reality that is happening in the moment. 

The ego will want to pull awareness away from this inquiry, but do not waiver. 

You are leading yourself back to the source of all. Peace. 

Find out who is watching all of this and see what happens.

Is there an answer? Or is it a state of alertness and aliveness that has no explanation.

Clean Up Your Inner Space

Pollution seems to be a thing for us humans. 

We pollute our environment with all kinds of toxins and garbage. 

We destroy the natural order and make it difficult for life to flourish. Even our own life.

I think most importantly we allow inner pollution to exist within ourselves. 

We don't do what is needed to clean up our inner environment.

We don't keep the toxic waste from flowing out of us.

Our speaking, our actions, our way of seeing the world are all affected by this toxicity.

Anytime we act from a space of deep unhappiness, we pollute our environment and that of others around us. 

It is mental and emotional pollution that we are spreading. It is very harmful. Violent. Destructive.

Look at the state of humans - still killing each other, still fighting, still fearful. 

This is the result of inner pollution being allowed to flow out of us and destroy our environment. 

Before we can comment on the world and judge others for physically polluting our environment, we must first look within and clean up our own atomic disaster. 

If we clean up our inner space as a whole human race, the external world will follow. 

The Need For Novelty

The ego always wants something new. It devours novelty.

When it isn't chewing on some bone of novelty, or thinking about its situation, it is seeking something new to occupy awareness. This is known as restlessness or boredom.

This ego must be unplugged. This ego must be burned away with the light of awareness.

Awareness must not get lost within the desires of the ego.

Poltergeists

Only the content of the mind can obscure the truth of actual reality.

Only the sense of "me" can experience guilt, blame, suffering. 

Again, the personality causing trouble. The content of the mind leading us into confusion.

The "me" is like a noisy ghost. A poltergeist. 

The thoughts that move within the space of our mind are like poltergeists. They make noise that distracts us or frightens us.

We must take our attention away from these distractions that seem so important and pay attention to what actually is.

Life smooths out, and we come into harmony with the universe.

The content of the mind is afraid of this.

It wants to be the boss.

Drop The Personality

The personality distorts reality.

This is because the personality is trapped in the past. It is created from the past. It is a "living" memory.

The personality has a way of seeing the world. It has a way of seeing people. It has a way of seeing itself. It has already decided what the world is like. 

In this, there is no freedom, only the illusion of freedom. 

The personality has strong opinions, beliefs, and judgements. 

To be open minded, it must be dropped.

Reality must be experienced without any prejudice if I am to be in harmony with it. 

Otherwise I am imposing the will of my personality on it.

That usually leads to frustration.

 

The Personality

I had this experience.

I was with a group of people who were in silence. No talking, no eye contact. We did this for a full day.

When we came out of it, people started talking again, and I became aware of how much energy it took to talk. 

It was not just physical energy, there was also mental and emotional energy as well. I became aware of my personality. 

My personality was this thing that I felt like I had to use to interact with people. It was loaded with all kinds of meaning. It had its own purposes and reasons for being. 

It was an enormous drain, so I let it go, but I had to pay attention to it as it was a habit. An ingrained, unconscious reaction. If I didn't pay attention to it, it would rise up instantly and begin operating again.

My ego which wants to be liked felt like if I didn't have my personality, I would be boring, a non-person. The truth is that I reclaimed an immense amount of energy.

From time to time, my personality slips back in and eats up energy. The root of the personality is fear. Fear burns up energy and distracts awareness.

Silence restores energy.

The Unsaid

I am more interested in what is unsaid than what is said.

More often than not, what is said comes from a personality as a reaction. It is fake.

What is unsaid is real.

The unsaid is spoken in times when a human being is being real. Usually the unsaid comes out like water bursting through a dam. Grief, anger, fear, strong emotions.

I am working on emptying out the unsaid part of me, making sure that part of my being is expressed.

I am not so interested in the said part of me. The small talk.

I will get to the point where there is nothing unsaid within me. At that point life will be a different experience.

I see the truth in this. Now it is time to manifest it.

Wish me luck.

The Mind

I was thinking about a distinction between the mind and the content of the mind. 

The mind is an empty space without a boundary. It is an internal universe.

The content of the mind is therefore realtive in size. 

The content of the mind is all our thinking and memory.

Our awarness chooses how relatively big the content of the mind is. 

It does this by focusing in on the content or by becoming aware of the vastness of the space around the content.

The content is constantly trying to get the attention of the awareness.

It dwells on problems, future, time, fear, doubt, criticism, uncertainty, anger, hurt. 

All these things it uses to try to pull the awareness to it.

It is easy for the awareness to become lost within it. 

Consciously withdraw the awareness from the mind's content.

See what takes place.

Impermanence

There is this feeling that there is some kind of permanence. 

It comes from the mind that projects this identity of 'me' into the future. 

The reality is that in the physical world of sensations, thoughts, emotions, everything is fleeting and temporary. 

It changes from day to day, month to month, year to year, century to century. 

What is permanent? That is a thing to put your mind and awareness to. 

Everything else is to be enjoyed and released. 

Meet Life From Where You Are

Meet life from where you are.

Don't put words to it. Feel your body.

The mind and its content are attempting to grab all your attention. Future concerns. Problems.

Let all that crap go. Get back into the body. Be in the actual world.

This is life where you are. Without thought.

That's it. It's all right. It's enough.

Only the mind wants more.

Artificial Intelligence

There are certain thoughts that activate the ego.

I will be relaxing, at peace, and then a certain series of thoughts come in to my mind. 

Then my ego is activated. The person is there. I begin to think about it. Feel it.

Before the person takes attention over completely, I have to catch it. Wake up from a potential dream. 

Otherwise, I will act according to the ego. The past. The history of me. 

It is like running electricity through an aritficial intelligence. A complex program.

It mimics life, but it is not truly alive.

It mimics intelligence, but it is not truly intelligent.

Put Good Into The World

When I weed out toxic thoughts, I purify myself. I come into balance.

When I do that, I am putting something good into the world. 

I start with myself. 

How do I weed out thoughts?

When I see poison, do I drink it?

When I see a bus coming, do I stand in the way?

The difficult part is seeing the thoughts as they arise.

The work is pruning them before they take hold.

Once I see that a thought is going to lead me into suffering, I drop it.

Most thoughts are rooted in suffering.

Can The Truth Be Known?

I am trying an experiment of letting go of everything the mind says. 

No matter what the mind says, I am not identifying with it. I am questioning it.

My mind is constantly making commentary on everything - opinions, judgements, criticisms.

Why should I assume that it knows the truth?

Can the truth be known?

Create Who You Are

Be an unstoppable force for good.

Once you see the suffering, hurt, anger within yourself, you have made a break from it.

Witness that reality, that there is the suffering and there is you who is looking at the suffering.

Witness that deeply and the suffering within you won't exist for long.

It needs your identification to exist.

Once you are clear of it, then act from that space.

Your clear consciousness will then guide the action instead of an unconscious reaction.

You then create your reality and who you are in the world.

You then become a part of the solution to the world's suffering.

In An Instant

It can transform instantly.

Emotions are like the weather.

Storms can blow by quickly.

Thoughts are like a moving school of fish.

Quick and fleeting.

These things are not persistent. They can change in an instant.

Do not plan your life around them.

Do not create your world around them.

Do not think that you are them.

Know that you are inherently free of them.

For in an instant, they can change and a new world is revealed filled with new opportunities.

Behind the screen of the mind is a new way of being and a new life.

Silence Is Golden

In every moment there is an opportunity to wake up. 

That is the good news. 

Every thought can be observed, and the space between the observed thought, and that which observes it, can be widened. 

It is the same with emotions. They can be fully felt without attaching to the thoughts that accompany them.

Take away the words.

Imagine standing on a high bridge and hearing a dog bark far below. 

Imagine throwing a stone into a still lake and watching the ripples gradually diminish.

We are born from silence.

The Fruit of the Tree of Life

There are levels of aliveness. 

There is a level of life where one wakes up and the energy is quickly burned away by a heavy ego. 

Then there is a level of life where there is no ego burning away the energy of life. 

Now the aliveness begins to accumulate.

One is filled with aliveness, the joy of living, and the access to that aliveness is through giving away that aliveness through some form of expression.

A smile, listening, cooking, writing, speaking, dancing, creating. 

To those that have, more shall be given.

It's a positive syndrome. 

The more you give, the more aliveness pours into you. 

The fruit of the Tree of Life.

Reclaiming Energy

Why does thought seem to move? Thoughts are constantly flowing through our minds.

Every thought has a great deal of energy, especially the thoughts that are charged with emotions.

What happens if thought doesn't move? Can it come to a stop?

Is there something beyond thought? Is there an awareness, an aliveness that can be sensed and experienced? Does the awareness of that cause a stop in thought?

That place would be intensely alive because all the stress that thought causes and all the energy that thought consumes would be reclaimed.

That energy would go into awareness. 

Bringing Excellence Into Our Life

Bringing excellence into every facet of our life is possible.

We have to internally slow down to do this. Excellence comes out of presence in the moment.

The ego comes in and says that it cannot be done and that there are too many things to do, but that is what the ego will always say. It must be set aside.

The ego is an argument for unconsciousness and mediocrity.

The ego wants to get to some future moment that doesn't exist where everything is "perfect", all the chores are done and all the problems solved. It has no time for the present moment. It constantly wants to pull our attention elsewhere. The attention we need to bring excellence into our lives.

In Taichi, there is a principle, "If we lose our balance, we lose our power."

Balance exists in the moment. The noise of the ego seeks to pull us out of this moment and out of our power. The ego can't exist in balance.

Once we are in balance we have access to immense amounts of power.

More than enough power to bring excellence into every area of our life.

Surfing the Wave

Life is a never ending series of waves.

Every encounter in life is a variation in that wave. Some are small, some are big. Some waves are smooth and easy, some are powerful and intense.

I am on the surfboard, keeping my balance. It takes all my focus at first, just like learning how to drive a car or ride a bike.

Initially, I fall off the board and get back on many times. Sometimes the waves hammer me into the surf, and I fear that I may drown.

If my mind wanders, I am more likely to fall off. If I lose respect for the power of the waves, I will get taught a hard lesson. The waves don't care if I live or die.

After some time, I deepen in my relaxation on the board. My balance deepens. My mind is continually attempting to distract me from the present moment, trying to pull my awareness into the future or the past or some drama.

It pulls my awareness off of surfing the wave.

If I allow it, I am sure to fall.

Real Freedom

Real freedom is not something that comes bit by bit.

Freedom is total or it is not.

You are either in prison or you are free.

The ego has our awareness prisoner. We can't escape its gravity and so we must identify and react through it. That usually results in suffering in some form or another.

The moment we become aware of our ego, there is potential to be free from it. 

The ego suffers. That is the alarm system that tells us where to look.

Where we suffer is the path to the ego, the impostor, the great lie.

To let go of the ego in all its forms is to transmute suffering into freedom.

Clear Perception

Your biology is designed to react and adapt to the environment that it lives within. 

If it is hot outside, your body adapts to regulate temperature.

If there is danger, your body reacts to deal with the danger.

But what about stress? What about the environment, the reality, that is invented by the mind that your body faithfully reacts to?

Stress happens in the mind. It is often a misperception. Some may go so far as to say that all psychological stress is a misperception.

Psychological stress is fear of the future, fear of what the culture might say, societal pressures, desires, resistance, wanting and not wanting. Any thought that generates a negative emotional reaction is a stress. 

Our minds have these perceptions and our body responds. Our minds never seem to tire of thinking about these stresses but our bodies do. Our bodies tire of the incessant reaction and begin to manifest illness. 

The biology is following the perception. It is the way the biology has been designed by nature. 

Can this perception be made clear, without the interpretation and filters of the mind? Can it see clearly without any concepts like future, past, guilt, shame, envy, jealousy, desire to possess or control?

If this happens, healing takes place and the body comes back into alignment with the whole.