Waking up is like breaking the hold of gravity.
There is a weightlessness when we break free of the constraints of the self.
The ego is heaviness. It is dense. It drags us down and keeps us anchored to the past.
Joy is buoyancy. Peace is an experience of being in a zero point. Bliss is directionless.
What does it take to break free of the heavy, problematic ego?
There are ways that it occupies our minds, keeps us thinking about how to solve its endless problems, worrying about the future, reacting to situations. Letting go of these is the role of vigilant awareness.
What does it take?
It takes weeding the garden of our minds so that something beyond it can grow. That is meditation.
Then there is the deep, hidden unconscious stuff that bubbles up and is the most powerful parts of the ego. The stored hurts that come at us like a volcano or and earthquake. When these arrive, hopefully there is enough energy in awareness to ride it out and watch it pass.
At some point escape velocity happens and we enter space. The space in which all things exist.
At that point, words don't make much sense.
Sunday, August 26, 2012
Saturday, August 25, 2012
A Leaf In a Stream
A friend asked me how to get out of suffering.
As we talked some things emerged about the experience of it on various levels.
The very bottom is unconscious suffering where I am not aware of it and I am defending it with all of my ego. The suffering is "real" and needs to be acted on. It is like seeing a movie projected on a wall and reacting to the image as if it is real - of course it doesn't feel like that. I am in the movie.
The next step up is being aware off and on that I am suffering but not having the energy to break free of its gravity and often acting out the suffering through guilt, anger, or complaining.
The next is being aware of the emotions and mental monologue of suffering and letting go of trying to resist it - letting it be there but not acting on it in any way by complaining or lashing out. This is humility. The ego is screaming to act out and I have disengaged the gears to it because I know the cost.
The next is beings aware of the suffering and through the light of conscious awareness dissolving it before it gains any momentum, gravity or reality. The feeling of the emotional and mental heaviness is recognized for what it is and is immediately dropped. This takes energy. By not dissipating energy through various means - stress, scattered thinking, numbing drugs - the energy is there to break free of the gravity of the ego.
The next level is to see the suffering coming as you would an arriving train at a station. There is no connection to it other than observing it and recognizing it from a distance. There may be a slight tremor as it comes close but I don't get on the train. I know where it goes. Why would I be so foolish?
After this there is only a deeper awareness of the truth - more and more space around the train. It becomes less loud, less powerful, less significant as it approaches.
Then it is just a leaf in a stream passing by.
As we talked some things emerged about the experience of it on various levels.
The very bottom is unconscious suffering where I am not aware of it and I am defending it with all of my ego. The suffering is "real" and needs to be acted on. It is like seeing a movie projected on a wall and reacting to the image as if it is real - of course it doesn't feel like that. I am in the movie.
The next step up is being aware off and on that I am suffering but not having the energy to break free of its gravity and often acting out the suffering through guilt, anger, or complaining.
The next is being aware of the emotions and mental monologue of suffering and letting go of trying to resist it - letting it be there but not acting on it in any way by complaining or lashing out. This is humility. The ego is screaming to act out and I have disengaged the gears to it because I know the cost.
The next is beings aware of the suffering and through the light of conscious awareness dissolving it before it gains any momentum, gravity or reality. The feeling of the emotional and mental heaviness is recognized for what it is and is immediately dropped. This takes energy. By not dissipating energy through various means - stress, scattered thinking, numbing drugs - the energy is there to break free of the gravity of the ego.
The next level is to see the suffering coming as you would an arriving train at a station. There is no connection to it other than observing it and recognizing it from a distance. There may be a slight tremor as it comes close but I don't get on the train. I know where it goes. Why would I be so foolish?
After this there is only a deeper awareness of the truth - more and more space around the train. It becomes less loud, less powerful, less significant as it approaches.
Then it is just a leaf in a stream passing by.
Friday, August 10, 2012
Empty Space Is The Key
Today there is nothing to occupy my mind.
There is no work, nothing for the mind to get lost in and it is in these times that a deep sense of restlessness bubbles up. I could call it anxiety or boredom but restlessness encapsulates it the best. At least for me.
There are the accompanying thoughts that go with this feeling of urgency but they can be summed up into: "I have to do something." The relief for this feeling of anxiety is either drugs or entertainment of some form. Television, the computer, video games but all these forms including the various drugs only cover it up and distract or dull the mind. The urgency remains underneath the entertainment or stupor until even the they fail to quell the anxiousness.
Being okay with doing nothing is primary.
Being crystal clear, full of energy and doing absolutely nothing.
Is that possible?
In order to be in that space, my mind has to come to a stop. Then everything else can flow from that space. Being okay with accomplishing nothing is the bedrock on which great accomplishments are launched. To act from a completely clear and empty space is the key.
There is no work, nothing for the mind to get lost in and it is in these times that a deep sense of restlessness bubbles up. I could call it anxiety or boredom but restlessness encapsulates it the best. At least for me.
There are the accompanying thoughts that go with this feeling of urgency but they can be summed up into: "I have to do something." The relief for this feeling of anxiety is either drugs or entertainment of some form. Television, the computer, video games but all these forms including the various drugs only cover it up and distract or dull the mind. The urgency remains underneath the entertainment or stupor until even the they fail to quell the anxiousness.
Being okay with doing nothing is primary.
Being crystal clear, full of energy and doing absolutely nothing.
Is that possible?
In order to be in that space, my mind has to come to a stop. Then everything else can flow from that space. Being okay with accomplishing nothing is the bedrock on which great accomplishments are launched. To act from a completely clear and empty space is the key.
Tuesday, August 7, 2012
Freedom From All Suffering
It is emerging.
It is as if something immense has been covered up by thoughts and emotions. These clouds that are my identity block out the purity of this awareness like clouds across the sun.
My identity is made up of thoughts that move through my head and trigger emotions stored within the body. That is all that it is. These thoughts and emotions trigger each other and create reactions within consciousness. At some point I became aware of this seemingly endless pattern. The reactions of my so-called internal world with the conditions of the so-called external world. This pattern was interrupted by awareness. Awareness of the whole movement of cause and effect.
Start small.
See just one fragment of this immense pattern. Take something that happens often. Getting mad at a situation. At someone. See it as a scientist would looking at a rat in a maze. Take notes. See the outcome. Watch how the pattern wants to take you over. You become it. You become the anger. This pattern applies to everything.
See if you can free yourself from just a fragment and you will have discovered the key to freedom from all suffering.
It is as if something immense has been covered up by thoughts and emotions. These clouds that are my identity block out the purity of this awareness like clouds across the sun.
My identity is made up of thoughts that move through my head and trigger emotions stored within the body. That is all that it is. These thoughts and emotions trigger each other and create reactions within consciousness. At some point I became aware of this seemingly endless pattern. The reactions of my so-called internal world with the conditions of the so-called external world. This pattern was interrupted by awareness. Awareness of the whole movement of cause and effect.
Start small.
See just one fragment of this immense pattern. Take something that happens often. Getting mad at a situation. At someone. See it as a scientist would looking at a rat in a maze. Take notes. See the outcome. Watch how the pattern wants to take you over. You become it. You become the anger. This pattern applies to everything.
See if you can free yourself from just a fragment and you will have discovered the key to freedom from all suffering.
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