Sanctuary

A long time ago, my yoga instructor had us do an exercise that stuck with me.

It was about noticing the one thing that was always the same throughout our lives.

He had us all remember a moment from five years ago, then ten, then twenty, then thirty. Then he would have us notice the one thing that was consistent throughout all those times.

Our emotions change throughout our lives. Our thoughts change. Things change around us. Our bodies change. People around us change. Was there anything that didn't change? 

There was something internal that didn't change. A sense of "me". A constant presence that is looking out through my eyes, but if I wasn't my emotions, thoughts or my body, then what is that sense of "me"?

It is the awareness before it becomes the thoughts. The awareness before it becomes the emotions. That is the real Self. The true "I am".

The awareness after it becomes the thoughts and emotions is the pseudo-self. The ego. The "little 'I am'" that becomes "I am this" or "I am that". 

That is something I meditate on when I find my ego gaining too much power, when there is too much emotional or mental noise going on. I get present to the "I am" that I am, before it becomes something. 

That is the eye of the storm for me. It grounds me in my body. It gets me in touch with life as it is actually happening because it is the still, silent place where life arises. All things are possible from this empty but vastly alive space. 

It is sanctuary. It is sanity. It is freedom.