I Will Find Out

I had a pretty interesting insight the other day that is still bubbling.
It has something to do with holding on to ideas of youth.
It's the ego's fear of death and it wants to hold on to the things of youth to pretend that it is immortal - to keep it feeling like it still exists in the past.
It's all about looking at the fact and asking the question, "Is there anything beyond my ego and identity?" What would happen if I dropped it totally? What would happen if I no longer gave it any power, if every time it emerged as a thought or emotion I became aware of it as a danger and made a space around it?
Anyhow, just to look is challenging me at the root. Lots of fear jammed in there and some hard-packed denial and resistance. Can the ego become aware of itself?
What is beyond sex and what is beyond desire and pleasure?
What is beyond being "someone special" and what is beyond "success"?
What is beyond my idea of "the perfect life"?
Can I let it go? Can it be dissolved?
I will find out.