A Different Relationship to Thinking

It is interesting how I can look at the content of my mind.

How I can look at the thoughts in my head and the emotions in my body.

In watching the content of my mind, I have discovered that I have an evolving relationship to thinking.

There is one kind of thinking that is involuntary. 

It is the thinking that is going on when I am lost in the narrative of my mind, and I am reacting to it as if I was watching an engrossing movie. When the movie is engrossing, I am unaware that I am in a movie theater, surrounded by people, in some city on earth, hurtling through space. I am having emotional responses to the movie—which is a phantom of light and sound.

When I am in this state in life, I am lost in a thought-stream that is an ongoing narrative about “me.” Mostly about what has happened to “me,” what will happen to “me,” and how do I feel about all those things.

The emotions feel like they are along for the ride. They simply react.

There is another kind of thinking when I am aware and consciously using thinking. 

These are the times I am aware that I am in a theater, surrounded by people, watching a movie which is a made up story told by actors—a phantom of light and sound.

I am not connected to thinking the same way as I am when I am lost in thought. 

Rather, I am there. I am awake. I am present and accounted for. I am alive.

When I am lost in thought, then the thinking is using me.

Instead of me using the thinking.

A very different relationship to thinking.