I was with a group of people who were in silence. No talking, no eye contact. We did this for a full day.
When we came out of it, people started talking again, and I became aware of how much energy it took to talk.
It was not just physical energy, there was also mental and emotional energy as well. I became aware of my personality.
My personality was this thing that I felt like I had to use to interact with people. It was loaded with all kinds of meaning. It had its own purposes and reasons for being.
It was an enormous drain, so I let it go, but I had to pay attention to it as it was a habit. An ingrained, unconscious reaction. If I didn't pay attention to it, it would rise up instantly and begin operating again.
My ego which wants to be liked felt like if I didn't have my personality, I would be boring, a non-person. The truth is that I reclaimed an immense amount of energy.
From time to time, my personality slips back in and eats up energy. The root of the personality is fear. Fear burns up energy and distracts awareness.
Silence restores energy.
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