I don't think that there are such things as "close" relationships. I think there is either "relatedness" or there is not. It doesn't matter if it is for a second or for decades. It is there or it isn't. Relatedness doesn't take time and relationship in its pure form is actually very rare.
I think, most relationship is actually self-referential gratification. We are not focused on the other person. I think we are focused - unconsciously - on our multiple desires. The desire to be liked, the desire to be seen and heard. To feel good. The desire to prove a past pain wrong, "See, they like me." or "I will prove that I am worthy." From the most subtle to the most powerful, the list of desires is almost endless.
Ultimately, I think all these desires are the desire for the ego to feel alive. The ego is a ghost that needs repeated reminders of its existence, otherwise the terror of death - not being - invades and causes great fear.
If the other person (also an ego) in the relationship measures up to that desire and our ego is fed, then we say that we like them or we love them, if they do not measure up or feed the ego what it wants, then we are not happy with them or we are disappointed.
The other person, in turn, is playing the same unconscious game, sending out signals according to their own conditioning. These signals are challenges to our perception, hitting it and skewing it in a particular direction. These signals are coming from the ego in the form of a personality and its underlying cause - fear. All of which attempts to obscure the clear perception of who that person actually is.
Relationships are mostly two egos trying to feed. A pair of ghosts attempting to prove their substance.
We rarely see the other person for who they actually are.
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