The Story of "Me"

I was playing a video game that had a main character and a storyline to it. It was a long game that I played for about a month or two. In that time, it became a familiar world that I returned to with familiar faces and places. The struggle of the character was clear and I was absorbed by it.

Then the game was over. The story was done.

I felt this feeling of emptiness. I wanted more. I wanted the story to continue.

I became aware of these feelings. They were no different than my own attachment to my own story, my own struggles. I don't want my story to end either.

Somewhere in here is the core of the way our brains are wired to make something that is make-believe, real. How we can watch a movie and react to it as if it is real, even though we intellectually know that it is just moving light and sound on a screen. A phantom.

The events in my life are real but what I make them mean is often conditioned by my past. If I am unconscious, my reality now will be looked at through a conditioned context - a filter of awareness - that already colors experiences as they happen.

To drop all of that is to see things clearly. But, like the game, there is something within me that doesn't want the story making to end.

The ego is really dug in there but I am very interested to see what reality is like without it.

No more of this story I am telling myself of 'me' having to struggle, fight, survive.

Could that be what life actually is?