I think that the last weapon in the ego's arsenal is fear.
It seems that fear is the foundation it was created on and if I dig enough into the ego it is the last thing I face.
It hits me with the same vibration that it was created in, a deep, non-verbal terror that my now adult brain tries to interpret, but I have found that believing my brain's interpretation is a mistake and can lead to all kinds of upset, fear, uncertainty, you name it.
This last barrier of the ego is opaque and feels tremendously real but I feel like beyond it is something else, I feel like it is that state before I invented the ego. At some point there was that state - a clear and direct perception of reality through a non-conditioned mind. A childlike state of grace and innocence.
I am at that wall of unknown dread and fear, looking at it, watching my brain attempting to interpret it as if it is something real. My brain feels that fear and then it automatically begins to interpret that fear and put it into my future. My brain is trying to keep me safe, but it doesn't realize that in doing so it is robbing me of my power by generating a fearful future filled with all kinds of doubt, uncertainty, upset and things to be avoided and be hurt about.
I think that is a serious blind spot for the brain - how it reacts to psychological fear. I think it does it in a way that is similar to physical fear which is great for survival, but it is terrible for psychology - it puts phantoms in our future.
I think the brain treats emotional hurt in the same way it would treat the fear of a sabertooth cat. It hasn't made the distinction between physical fear and psychological fear. I feel like only our conscious awareness can make that distinction and be free of the autonomic mechanics of the brain.
The brain then becomes an amazing tool and serves awareness.
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