Death and Meaning

We are all going to die. You are going to die. I am going to die.
We don't want to face this, to really go into it. We want to laugh it off, or get upset at it, or toss it aside, or create the concept of an afterlife. Somehow, we try to deflect the fact that we are destined to expire, rot and decay. We are all destined to be thrust, willingly or unwillingly into the unknown that is death. Death being, the entire content of who we are and what we know, coming to an end.
What happens when we live with this fact day to day? The closer one lives to it the closer one is to the actual-ness of life itself.
Life is actual. Life is not conceptual. The identity is conceptual. Who we are as identities and egos and personalities are all conceptual. It's a big story, isn't it?
If you have ever experienced death of someone close to you or your own near-death, then you quite possibly have experienced a moment, living in the realm of the actual. It is that moment where the world falls away and all the so-called 'important' things of society become insignificant. Time ceases. The world goes on around you and you remain still. It could almost be said that you are not there. There is just awareness and what is.

Then...

Someone cuts you off with their car.
You get mad. Perhaps say some choice words. What the hell is the matter with that jerk? It reminds you of just how stupid people are, all the stupid people in the world. Idiots. They shouldn't be allowed to drive. Your blood pressure raises. Chemicals are released into your bloodstream, affecting every cell. It dominates your thinking. You are upset by it.
Yet what is actual in all of this?
One car moved in front of another car. You pushed air through your vocal chords, making them vibrate. Your blood pressure elevated. That's it. The rest is conceptual. To get mad is conceptual.

Then...

Someone calls you a name.
You get hurt and sad, or you attack back with a ferocity of a wounded animal. The event may stay with you all day and be replayed over and over, perhaps inventing new outcomes where you are the victor. You may shut down and hate may saturate your system.
Yet what is actual?
Sounds came out of someone's mouth. Not words with meaning, sounds. Words are all conceptual.
What you are reading is conceptual.
This whole blog is conceptual.