A Leaf In a Stream

A friend asked me how to get out of suffering.

 As we talked some things emerged about the experience of it on various levels.

 The very bottom is unconscious suffering where I am not aware of it and I am defending it with all of my ego. The suffering is "real" and needs to be acted on. It is like seeing a movie projected on a wall and reacting to the image as if it is real - of course it doesn't feel like that. I am in the movie.

 The next step up is being aware off and on that I am suffering but not having the energy to break free of its gravity and often acting out the suffering through guilt, anger, or complaining.

 The next is being aware of the emotions and mental monologue of suffering and letting go of trying to resist it - letting it be there but not acting on it in any way by complaining or lashing out. This is humility. The ego is screaming to act out and I have disengaged the gears to it because I know the cost.

The next is beings aware of the suffering and through the light of conscious awareness dissolving it before it gains any momentum, gravity or reality. The feeling of the emotional and mental heaviness is recognized for what it is and is immediately dropped. This takes energy. By not dissipating energy through various means - stress, scattered thinking, numbing drugs - the energy is there to break free of the gravity of the ego.

 The next level is to see the suffering coming as you would an arriving train at a station. There is no connection to it other than observing it and recognizing it from a distance. There may be a slight tremor as it comes close but I don't get on the train. I know where it goes. Why would I be so foolish?

 After this there is only a deeper awareness of the truth - more and more space around the train. It becomes less loud, less powerful, less significant as it approaches.

Then it is just a leaf in a stream passing by.